How I quit my job and booked my ticket to Bali:

I dont know if I made the right or wrong decision but I know one thing for sure, I had to get out before I get stuck.

Many people would say that it wasn't the best idea to leave the cannabis industry especially now that it's legalized in California, I was in a really good place, already managed, opened and closed about sixteen unlicensed shops and managed three licensed dispensaries all over Southern California.

It may be the worst and the best decision I've ever made, I'm sure it's for the better. I was no longer happy going to work, I used to be do my hair, make up, dressed up for work. These days I no longer try, I used to thrive in corporate meetings, worked even when I was already home. I used to do a lot for my job, I used to love it. For some reason I lost my passion. I started battling myself about where I'm at, I started having conversations in my head like; "Crizzle, what are you thinking? You can't quit! You're making way more than a lot of people your age and you're selling legal weed! What are you crying about?"

I fought myself for months until I had a breakdown, I mean an actual mental breakdown.

The founders of the company I was with for four years were separating, they are suing each other and it has been a really messy process almost like a divorce where mom and dad are bashing each other and making you pick sides. I was in a meeting with the president of the company, which I had no issues with (he was the best leader and mentor) when the HR director sent me a message that just threw me off, it immediately made me tear up and mind you I never cry. I'm a tough little cookie and there I was, one message and I fell apart. I cried for hours, my mind was foggy, I was so lost, my heart was aching. Mind and heart going against each other. That same day (9/19/18) I wrote my resignation letter. Though I didn't send it or talked about it two weeks after I wrote it. I really took my time, I must be over it especially after that breakdown.

After a few weeks of meditating on the issue, I finally realized that I have to send the letter, I spoke to the president before I sent to the CEO and boom, sent. My heart raised but a calm, ease, relief immediately took over my entire being, that's when I knew it was for my wellbeing.

I guess the worst part of it all is working with ShowGrow for four years, helping build the business from the ground up is not getting a response or not even an call or an email from the CEO. I was at least expecting a "TY" or "Thank you for dedicating four years of your life to build my dreams". I'm a bit hurt about it, but it's not a reflection of me. I guess I have made the right decision after all.

Fast forward 2 weeks after my resignation letter was sent, I was booking a plane ticket to Bali. YES! I'm going back to Bali for a month, Bali is one of the places I traveled to back in June when I went to the Philippines and did side trips to Indonesia, Taiwan and Thailand. Bali captivated me like no other and I had a dream a few months ago that I was back in Bali singing while my lover was playing the guitar (so blissful). So here I am, finding my passion and purpose, traveling solo. Join me on my journey, lets dive deep and travel within ourselves.